3 week blur

The leaver feels good about finally moving forward but is now navigating this new life—if doing an in-house separation, not really being part of the house; if adjusting to a new apartment, trying to work out furnishing it. If there’s someone they’re attracted to or already have started a relationship with, this makes the change easier—new possibilities, a feeling that they should have done this sooner.

For the leftee, that initial jolt has worn off but they’re still shell-shocked; everyday life is a blur. They have difficulty focusing, have no energy, feel angry or depressed, and don’t quite know what to say to family or friends. What they’re most aware of is how they’re obsessing—replaying the past days, months, and years, their minds are constantly running, seemingly out of their control—trying to connect the dots between their view of the past and present, and develop a narrative that explains how they got to this place. Once the story solidifies in their minds, their thoughts calm down.